Blame Garry!

One of my good buddies, Garry, stoked my ego yesterday by telling me I didn’t post to my blog often enough. The rest of you needn’t worry, I told him that, as honored as I am by his opinion, I don’t intend to bore the rest of you with more frequent blathering. (More on Garry & his lovely wife, later.)

But, as timing would have it, it’s time for a health/treatment update. And, since I simply can NOT stand dry and droll cancer-talk, I’ll close by sharing some SWEET news and products of my creative endeavors. (The one above gives you an idea.)

The six months of major indigestion I endured since December wound down in June after discontinuation of 2 of the chemo meds, those that I received through my port.

After 2 months of treatment by Tarceva pill only, I was due for my PET scan, which I underwent this past Tuesday. I’ve been taking the smallest dose possible, 25 mg. of Tarceva, as I’ve struggled to combat side effects of medications.

Unfortunately, at about the same time that the indigestion ended, I began experiencing more pain, mostly in my right back and side. I began taking Extra-strength Tylenol during my Hawaii visit, but by the time I returned home toward the end of June, I was concerned about the frequency with which I had to treat the pain. Additionally, I began experiencing nausea in the morning. Ibuprofen controls pain for me better than acetaminophen, but I must REALLY watch my intake, because it can induce or increase bleeding, which has already been an issue with the fluid I’m draining via my catheter. (Did I put that delicately enough?)

After a few weeks on Tylenol and occasional Ibuprofen, I reached a day when neither the nausea nor pain would respond to Tylenol or Ibuprofen. As noon came and went, with me unable to eat, I reluctantly broke out my bottle of Vicodin. Within an hour, both pain and nausea were gone, and I was able to eat my breakfast, at around 1:30 PM. I somewhat reluctantly added daily Vicodin to the med regimen. After about a week, I made appointments with both my oncologist and pulmonary specialist.

In the meantime--I began experiencing a PROFOUND lack of appetite. I’d manage to eat breakfast, but had to force myself to eat lunch or dinner, usually not both. I’d serve myself the smallest of portions, and still only be able to consume ½ of that.

My oncologist assured me that I was medicating myself appropriately to manage my pain until I was able to get in for my scheduled PET scan. We didn’t really discuss, at that point, what to do about my appetite. We had no idea as to whether the pain was related to the cancer or possible scar tissue, especially in the area of my drainage catheter. I had him examine the increasing lumps and bumps developing under the skin by my ribs on the right side. He thought they might be either scar tissue or increased cancer growth.

My pulmonary doc reviewed the Xray he ordered, and felt that there didn’t seem to be anything out of the ordinary.

It wasn’t until about a week ago (a week before my scan) that the light bulb finally went on regarding the loss of appetite. I awoke feeling less pain than usual, and skipped my morning dose of Vicodin. That afternoon, I noticed an increase in my appetite. An internet search confirmed that Vicodin can interfere with appetite. Since then, I’ve tried cutting the doses in half, but I have struggled to find that happy medium between pain management and appetite.

Teaser for creative update at end:

Fast forward to yesterday’s follow-up to my PET scan. The increase in pain had me expecting very bad news about my health status. My weigh-in didn’t help, as I found I had dropped under 100 pounds…98, meaning I’ve lost 19 pounds since diagnosis.

The PET scan revealed very mild disease progression. The Tarceva, even at the lowest dose, is working. So the plan is to gradually increase the dose, as my body allows, to hopefully let the Tarceva do its thing. The progression is in the area where I’ve had increased pain.

The more immediate issue was to find a remedy for the loss of appetite. Rather than trying to find a new method of pain control, my oncologist suggested an aid to stimulate appetite. He prescribed Marinol, a cannabis derivative. Of course, I asked my doc about potential side effects, and he said some dancing in the streets was reported. I clarified that I was only interested in ADVERSE side effects. Another option would have been some sort of steroid, but the marinol seems to be the most natural option.

Boy, am I pleased with it so far! After filling the Rx, we returned home where I took my first dose as I was preparing lunch. I was thrilled to be hungry enough for a second serving! I had similar good results with my evening dose, not only finishing my dinner, but having room for a Vanilla Ice Cream Drumstick. NOW, I think we are on to something.

While I celebrated my double-serving of lunch, I reviewed the information sheet provided with my Rx. Hmmm….Potential side effects include red eyes, dry mouth, feeling “high”, an exaggerated sense of well-being. Well, I could certainly use a sense of well-being, as I’ve been wallowing in discouragement with increasing frequency these days. My first dose did seem to make me feel pretty darned good—in fact, while I THOUGHT I was ready for my afternoon nap, I found myself relaxed and happy, but NOT tired!! It appears that these side effects diminish as the body adjusts to the dosage…dang!! My night dose did not seem to provide the same sensations, but I’m elated to see my appetite return!

On other fronts: I got some VERY HAPPY news a little over a week ago—My older daughter and her family of 5 (total, including her!) are moving back to San Diego County on August 25! My son-in-law has found work here, which will enable them to establish residency. He’d like to study diesel mechanics at Palomar College, but must have established residency for at least a year to avoid paying non-residence fees. So, I’ll have my grandkids an hour’s drive away, instead of across an ocean!

I’ve been enjoying (immensely!) a 5-week online class on art journaling given by Pam Carriker. The images posted today are all products of that class. I’ve completed 2 pages so far. My favorite part of this process is painting. Although these pages are painted with acrylics, the use of a baby wipe to blend creates a washed look, similar to a watercolor. I’m also enjoying experimenting with new tools including a woodless graphite pencil, glazing medium, and watercolor pencils. I can’t wait to test the new techniques on a larger surface. OK, Lindy…maybe I’ll have some art for the school sooner rather than later!

Oh, and with that message to another friend, I’m reminded that I want to share the website for my friend Garry, who encourages me to blog more. Garry’s lovely wife Cherrie is also his partner with their Glass Ranch Studio. Their home studio grounds encompass their hillside garden retreat, where they have a gallery and glass blowing structure. They hold semi-annual art shows, as noted on their site. Their shows are an awesome opportunity to stroll their grounds, strewn with artistically placed glass “discards” and hung with a lovely assortment of garden art. If you find you’re inspired by Cherrie’s glass jewelry, you can buy a piece or two AND/OR sign up to take one of her classes.
Check out their website
…and then go do some creatin’ of your own!

Getting my hands “DIRTY”

Hopefully absence makes the heart grow fonder. But, I date myself with that quote. OK, well, then: Have you missed me?

As usual, life conspires to get in the way of all the “To Dos” on my list. Somehow, I think I’m managing a half-way decent job of balancing housework, paperwork, art, friendship, family and health. I WOULD prefer to allocate a smaller slice of time to health, but that’s not possible at this point. I may PLAN to vacuum the bedroom AND dust the living room, get one thing done, and find that some side effect or loss of energy sends me to bed for restoration. I must appreciate that THAT is an option. And my husband repeatedly tells me how much he likes just having me home. It’s sweet.

Last time I wrote, I was in Hawaii, awaiting the arrival of my newest grandchild, a little guy who made his appearance on June 8. Bradley, is OF COURSE, adorable! I’m thankful Skype enables me to see Bradley and his family in between trips. Of course, a few pictures have been exchanged, but it’s not the same as hearing their little voices and seeing them in action. It may be another 6 months before I get to hold them again.

As wonderful as it was to spend time with the family, it was AWESOME to come home. One month was just too long; I missed my husband and my home. I know there are many people who live for their vacations, for that destination. I’m glad I’m not one of them…that I have a home I love to come home to, which I prefer to the destinations! I wish my family lived closer, but Hawaii isn’t for everyone. And since I was unable to swim in my private pool (due to my catheter), and the overly-abundant mosquitoes kept me indoors too frequently, Hawaii as a vacation spot didn’t happen for me this time. A few friendly folks (wise guys?) suggested that I could at least dip my feet in the ocean. What the hell kind of pleasure is that supposed to be?? The rest of me would be fried in the tropical sun, but I could wet my toes?! Oh, boy, oh boy!! Thanks, but there’s a beach a half-hour from my home, and all my art supplies are here!

…which leads me back home, to my newest passion, or at least one of them!
I signed on months ago to participate in a 3-day art retreat. I’ve never treated myself to anything like this, and anticipated it excitedly. The 3 artist-teachers have previously taught this class in Paris! It was hosted right here in Del Dios, less than a mile away. I knew Renee, the artist at whose home the class was given, but had only admired the work of the other 2 artists, Pam Carriker & Lisa Bebi, from a distance, via magazines and online. To see them teamed up was a persuasive temptation!

The retreat was 7 hours daily, Monday—Wednesday. It was fantastic to learn new techniques, observe the different teaching styles, AND get treated to lunches prepared by one of the teachers each day! Unfortunately, I wasn’t feeling well for part of each day, as I continued to deal with digestive issues that made me uncomfortable enough to consider skipping classes twice! I did find that once I arrived, immersion in creativity distracted me from discomfort!

During the retreat, I was reminded of how slowly I process new information. It reminded me of a dance class I took in college, where I got frustrated to the point of tears, as everyone else seemed able to pick up the routine, and move forward. I know I tend to OVERTHINK things, which doesn’t always work in my favor creatively. At art retreat, it seemed I was always the last to complete a project, I know: It wasn’t a competition!

During the workshop, I was reminded of another issue with my creative approach: I’ve tended to rely on “the TOOLS” to apply paints and glues, and avoid getting my hands dirty! I tried to make a point of getting some paint on a finger or 2, but I began considering a 12-step program to work through it! Kinda crazy, since I’ve done my fair share of ROUGH camping. On a few Baja kayaking trips, (only about 10-15 years ago) the fresh water was saved for drinking, so all bathing was in salt water. On one of those trips, I lived without my hairbrush for over 10 days, since I’d mistakenly left it at home. This was back when I had LONG hair…so you can imagine what the combination of salt-water and no hairbrush did!

The avoidance of getting my hands dirty has carried over into my gardening. Up until recently, I gardened with gloves on, and NOT just when I was working with thorny plants. Recently, I’ve made an effort to leave the gloves inside, to connect with plants, weeds, and dirt.

One of the techniques I learned involved making a 3D “portrait” using a Styrofoam wig-head. I enjoyed this lesson so much more than I thought I would, tho’ I went home with an unfinished project. Everyone else's portrait was more complete. Oh well!

(Mine is on the top left.) They're all so different!

This week, I made use of the techniques to begin re-finishing a water-crock stand (for bottled water.) I started out with torn newspaper, and initially thought I was going to dress it up with images of morning glories. I fondly recall a splash of them spilling down a bank of the property next door to where I grew up, but have never grown any myself. As I was attaching the bits of newspaper, the earth-tones directed me to consider a different color scheme. I’ve toyed with the idea of trying trompe l'oeil (fool the eye) painting, but, since I’ve never done it, it scares me. I’d be over-thinking this project until my daughters are grandparents. So, I’ll let this project evolve, and avoid planning out too much.

AND, I found that the easiest way to work out air bubbles when I’m gluing paper is to USE MY FINGERTIPS. I started really getting into it! Periodically, I’d take a break to peel off layers of gel medium/glue, as it inhibited my ability to feel what I was doing. What now looks like a skin condition is proof that I’m in recovery from my “dirty-hands” phobia!

I squoze (past-tense of squeeze, which OBVIOUSLY should be a word) in another hour or two a week ago to move a couple of other projects forward. They were languishing, but I think I like where they are headed! I just love my collection of tissue paper!

Oh, yeah, and tomorrow I start a 5 week on-line art retreat, given by Pam Carriker…one of the artists who taught at the art retreat. She’s the one who presented the 3D portrait lesson. You can check out her work here. In a prior blog post, I referred readers to the site for Lisa Bebi, who taught her awesome paint-over technique. In case you’ve not visited her site before, you’ll find it here. While I don’t believe Renee Richetts, who taught cold-water paper making and hinged metal books, has a website, she does have a blog, which you can view here.

Gotta go create!!
Linda

Only Art—3 projects

There’s no sense in getting bogged down in too many words…I just checked in to share some completed projects!

“Dream with Your Eyes Open”

took a LONG time to finish, because there is a hidden project underneath that just wasn’t working for me. Since it had pictures of my grandkids, I tortured myself about covering up the images…but it just didn’t work ARTISTICALLY. (I’m working on a replacement project.)

On the other hand “Decisions, Decisions”

was completed quite quickly, and I’m just as happy with the final “product.” Oh, that they would all flow so easily!



“Drawing without an eraser”

is my first completed digital piece (not including the goofy Photoshop picture of me!) I’ve still got a lot to learn, but the process is grand fun!
Digital supplies were from DeviantScrap and ScrapGirls.

Enough playing for me…kitchen chores beckon!

Creative Enlightenment, 101

My hair is growing back, though a bit more slowly on top, and baby-fine! I asked my friend to take pics of me this weekend. This is just one of a few nice shots she got.

I continue to follow the ebb and flow of my 3-week chemo schedule. I’m about mid-way through, feeling pretty decent, and knowing I’ll be feeling better as I approach my next treatment. It’s just wonderful to have my energy back—-to have time to feather the nest AND indulge in creativity. All the better, as I excitedly await the arrival of my older daughter, and her family, including my 2 granddaughters. Since they all live in Hawaii, I only get to see them twice a year. Yes-yes--I know, "Hawaii is a great place to visit family", but I’d rather be able to see my granddaughters every week!

Creatively, (and otherwise) I tend to work on multiple projects at each sitting, doing one step on one project, setting it aside and picking up another, and another. (It’s part of my personal “style” in other areas, and maybe not very productive!) Dream Garden was a project I started months ago, and it wasn’t working for me. After enjoying the effects of adding a MUCH larger image bit to “Pet Your Sunflowers”, I tried the same approach by adding the magazine cut-out of pink flowers flowing from the top. It helped immensely, but I was ready to move on. I’ve committed myself to posting my progressive work on my blog, so after adding a little verse to the piece, I pronounce it “complete” and am ready to turn the page of my journal.

Sleepless in Del Dios” was also started months ago when I was having nightly sleep issues. It started with doodling on black gesso, where it languished for many weeks, as I looked at the project and found NOTHING else to inspire, until I found an ad for a prescription sleep aid. Then-more waiting for inspiration, until I found the shimmering flower image from a card I’d received, followed by the tissue. Again, I consider this more of a learning experience (as in “a page of the same doodle is more cohesive than a bunch of random ones”).

I’ve wanted to delve more into digital art and use my scanner. I was THRILLED when I bought my HP ScanJet for a dollar at a local garage sale, but then found I was disappointed with the image quality when scanning 300 dpi JPEGs. While reviewing a 2005 issue of “Cloth, Paper, Scissors” (anyone else find inspiration in that publication?) I found the recommendation to scan images in as 600 dpi .tif files.

What an improvement! So now, instead of photographing my work, I’m scanning it in! AND I went back to a reference book from my Photoshop class to straighten out one of the images that had scanned crookedly! AND, while I was reviewing my class notes, I also experimented with creating a line drawing from a photographic image. Oh, yeah, AND I learned how to use my images in text to create my new banner (above: “HalfRaven.”) I am obviously easily pleased, and sense that I’ll be testing out many new techniques for working with my photos and scanned images.

I stumbled upon this link a couple of weeks back. The artist’s name is Ben Heine, and he calls his work “Pencil vs. Camera.” I’ve NEVER seen anything like this, and I sure wish I was talented enough with pen or pencil to try and emulate it, but I DO find it inspiring. I know you will too!

"There is not one blade of grass, there is not one color in this world that is not intended to make us rejoice" John Calvin

Art Journal pages

I spent a few creatively self-indulgent days last week, but guilt hasn’t overtaken me, because I haven’t had the opportunity to repeat those efforts this week. (I DID work on a video project for a friend’s birthday, but it was a COMPLETELY different effort.)

When my hubby told me he wanted to head out on an overnighter in Idylwild with herpetological (snakes and lizards, for you non-scientists) buddies, I made MY plans to let the creative juices flow.

The above journal page, which I’m tentatively titling “Pet Your Sunflowers" was a project which was languishing, due to some over-thinking which my friend Suzanne accuses me of. (OK, others have done the same…) I’ve heard many art journalists finish a page in a night. HUH??? I finally gave up on trying to layer various yellow acrylic paints on the sunflowers in an attempt to block the blue sky background from peeking through, and turned my attentions to my growing stash of art papers and images. (This prompted another note-to-self: “When stuck, change mediums.”)

After adding the hand image, topped by some tissue, I tapped into my fabric stash. When I laid those apple circles down, I experienced an immediate “ah-ha…YES!” moment. (I’ve since experience another similar moment, but that project isn’t done yet.) I’m happy with the illusion of depth here, and the fact that my eye wants to wander over the image.

“Words shift Shape” was the 2nd journal page project I attempted. The background was laid out in my favorite color combo: butter-cream yellow and rose. I’ve collected words & phrases for years (goes back to my song-writing days), and I imagine I’ll turn to that list for future projects, as others turn to their stash of papers or other ephemera. I figure I’ll have a lot of fun with the “jar” rubber stamp in future projects.

In the meantime, I’m having creative withdrawls…hoping to indulge tonight.

Creative pursuits

I THINK this will be a relatively quick post (given that it’s ME who’s writing. Who knows, my fingers seem to have a life of their own.)

Having time off in between chemo treatments has afforded me a chance to pursue some new creative pursuits. I’ve been musically inclined for years, but will admit to laziness about pursuing mastery of instruments. I’ve got a half-way decent voice, and performed for a number of years, but it was too much work. I've exercised well-received efforts in song-writing, but it’s hard to go anywhere with it without backing myself up on an instrument (other than the kazoo.)

I love color, and have been told I have an unusual color sense. (Sometimes, the word “unusual” covers an effort to be polite…I’ll choose to take it otherwise.) A friend and several magazine articles turned me on to art journaling, and one thing has led to another, as I’ve dipped my creative toes into drawing, painting with acrylics, and other mixed media efforts.

These are newborn efforts of maybe 2-3 months, and sharing these publicly is kinda scary, but one of my recent projects (while in Hawaii) was focused on setting aside fear as it relates to creative experimentation. It’s hard, as the perfectionist in my lays out obstacles before I even try! Dumb! So, tho’ I sat down to share another image, I’ll share my “Fear Has NO Place” journal page first. The story is that I’ve wanted to experiment with drawing faces, but wouldn’t try because I didn’t want to deal with the anticipated first failures. So, YES, the gal in the image looks like she has a moustache, but that unfortunately is reality for many of us anyway! I also found that I was being too damn prissy about not getting paint, ink and art mediums on my fingers, so that’s another of the fears listed. I’m not sure that the page is done, but it’s fine for now. (Big step, Linda!)

The other image is one I’m very happy with. I call it “Postcard from a Yard.” I started by creating a background using gel transfer of a photo I took of an iris. (If you see text out of place in my blog, I’m doing battle with Argentine ants…you don’t EVEN want to hear the words running around in my HEAD!) Anyway, I also used a photo my hubby took in Hawaii (he didn’t know he’d captured a beautiful spider web!), an image from a magazine, gauze from the medicine chest, and a free-be art paper (the postcard.) Added a bit of acrylic paint and some ink…and voila. I think this one is done!

Now, I’m on a roll, and had to play around with a photo of my lovely head (I changed my profile pic). OK, Linda, do some housework. (I HAVE been in bed for 4 days, and DO have some catchin’ up to do!)